Let me tell you something about Severus Snape. We were best friends in Hogwarts. I know, right? It's so embarrassing. I don't even... Whatever. So then in seventh year, I started going out with my first boyfriend James who I totally hated but then we got married, and Severus was like, weirdly jealous of him. Like, if I would blow him off to hang out with James, he'd be like, "Why are you such a Mudblood?" And I'd be like, "Why are you so obsessed with me?" So then, for my birthday party, which was an all-Order pool party, I was like, "Severus, I can't invite you, because I think you're a Death Eater." I mean I couldn't have a Death Eater at my party. There were gonna be Order of the Phoenix members there in their battle robes. I mean, right? He was a DEATH EATER. So then Voldemort called Dumbledore and started yelling at him, it was so retarded. And then he dropped out of the Order because no one would talk to him, and he came back in the fall to work for Dumbledore, all of his hair was greasy and he was totally weird, and now I guess he's Potions Master.
“Shes the type of girl who responds to guys who smile at her because she wants to be friendly. She is the type of girl who stares hard at the board when she does not understand what the teacher is teaching. She is the type of girl who acts like a kid because she misses her childhood. She is the type of girl who’d rather get hurt by truths than lies. She is the type of girl who wishes for good things for people she loves. She is the type of girl who stays loyal to one guy when she learns how to love. She is the type of girl who holds on to memories even if it hurts. She is the type of girl I am.”—(via kappaklassy89)
Grasshoppers. I know I know, they can’t bite they can’t hurt me, whatever. Heard that a million times. All I know is one went down my shirt and now I cry whenever there’s one near me. This one I think is my only real, serious, legit phobia. I looked it up and it’s called acridophobia. Yeah.
Being scratched by a cat. Not a phobia, but I’m allergic to them a little, so if I get scratched it gets super-swollen and gross. I try to be extra careful around them.
Vomit. I cry if I get sick, I avoid any type of movie or tv show episode where this might happen, I will leave the room or even building if someone throws up. This might be verging on a phobia also. Blegh it just freaks me out sooooo much.
Scary movies. Can’t do it. Tried and failed multiple times.
The ocean, or any water that’s not a pool or bathtub. I like being near water, but not in it. I watched JAWS when I was like, 4, and I wouldn’t go in water for like a week. I just don’t like when I can’t see my feet and stuff touches me. I hate not loving the ocean and being in the lake or river. It’s really very inconvenient, as that’s what we do in the summer- hang out at the beach or go tubing.
Gum. Especially when people chew it with their mouth open.
When people don’t use their turn signal
When my puppy thinks it’s playtime right when I get comfy in bed, and about an hour before I need to wake up.
Excessive complaining. If that’s all you’re ever going to do when we talk, I don’t need to talk to you.
WHEN PEOPLE TYPE IN ALL CAPS ON FACEBOOK. Or when they think that just because it’s the internet, grammar doesn’t matter at all.
People who have rude bumper stickers. I don’t care if you don’t like a certain anything, don’t be rude about it.
When people sit near me in class and proceed to eat noisy/ fragrant food. I understand eating a snack or something, but seriously, wait until lunch to eat your spaghetti. (That actually happened. The girl next to me had a plate of spaghetti. In class.)
“In fact, to every young person listening tonight who’s contemplating their career choice: If you want to make a difference in the life of our nation; if you want to make a difference in the life of a child—become a teacher. Your country needs you.”—